He reached a point, and it’s not like he was trying to get to this point, he didn’t want to reach this point, at all actually, he was actively trying to avoid reaching this point, he didn’t want to get to this point, it feels debilitating, even before he got here, he tried pretty hard to think of how to avoid getting to a point, getting to this point, it’s something like an overarching inability, a fog, frustration, it doesn’t have to do directly with work, but work is affected by it, generally, it’s hard to say what this getting to a point means, now, he’s trying to get at that now, to figure out what he means, what it means for him, as in can he figure out what he means to say or which way to go from here? generally he hopes to seem straightforward, he doesn’t want to come off too dramatic but he gets the feeling it will seem like he is being dramatic, and if he is, fine, as long as he can see that and see why or how he got to this point, under duress of a relatively simple stretch of a strange year, he called it a wash and it is a was, but he’s trying move beyond this point he’s reached, so he can enjoy the everything else and be good company for others, he could say that he’s trying to get to the point of getting to a point, but he keeps getting distracted, for better or for worse, he keeps thinking about and talking about woodpeckers when he shouldn’t be, especially here, working, his work has had a little bit to do with them very indirectly, he talks about them often, looks for them when he’s working outside, like the day after a freeze, a yellow-bellied sapsucker flew between 2 pines, it spent the day pecking and he kept saying, oh yeah, it’s in heaven, sap runs better after a freeze, he heard this somewhere and he remembers living where taps were set up all through the woods and there was even a maple syrup tap and deli in between a couple of the towns, sapsuckers are a kind of woodpecker he thinks, different name but really they do the same thing, most importantly he appreciates them in the same way, a supsucker and a woodpecker, for the sapucker, sapsucking is what they do after woodpecking, so they, sapsuckers, for whatever reason have been named, commonly for the second thing they do instead of the first thing they do, more or less, here, he started thinking about them because he heard one and looked around for it, started thinking about them often, then started thinking about why he thinks about them often and whether he needs to justify it or not, What have I been doing? he thinks, Working, walking, sitting on the porch, laying in the sun on the floor like the dog, watching the dog lie in the sun.