All His Eye is Meant For
Sweetwater Trail, Tucson, Arizona
At eight years old I draw the seams
a playhouse
My stepfather promises
to pick me up from detention
tells my mother we’ll get pig’s blood
a Chinese delicacy throws me
a Pepsi can thinking I drink soda
tells me to get into the trunk
or go back to foster care
he drives
It is not until I return
twelve years later
that I remember the dark rise of the Arizona skyline
even in the trunk
tied wrists wrapped ankles
how could I scream
An easy trail
Plenty of parking
Not enough people My stepfather yanks
my arms pops green pods
into my lips
the palo verdes part their blooms
as his hands shove the yellow flowers
disfigures my steps
six inches deep
a darkness the way Southern desert desire
hides his mouth
between my legs
his forehead folding in our place
after we pass the saguaro
on the hillside after we spot mute deer
begetting a beloved
he stretches a pinkie finger
“well then promise”
To protect the lower bark from javelina rabbits
or deer he spills my cola
past the wash past the switchbacks
the severed parts
for burial
a playhouse
My stepfather promises
to pick me up from detention
tells my mother we’ll get pig’s blood
a Chinese delicacy throws me
a Pepsi can thinking I drink soda
tells me to get into the trunk
or go back to foster care
he drives
It is not until I return
twelve years later
that I remember the dark rise of the Arizona skyline
even in the trunk
tied wrists wrapped ankles
how could I scream
An easy trail
Plenty of parking
Not enough people My stepfather yanks
my arms pops green pods
into my lips
the palo verdes part their blooms
as his hands shove the yellow flowers
disfigures my steps
six inches deep
a darkness the way Southern desert desire
hides his mouth
between my legs
his forehead folding in our place
after we pass the saguaro
on the hillside after we spot mute deer
begetting a beloved
he stretches a pinkie finger
“well then promise”
To protect the lower bark from javelina rabbits
or deer he spills my cola
past the wash past the switchbacks
the severed parts
for burial
