G-NT3806KSJP

all the trees will fall down




   


      // The stain appeared                                as a starry pattern
after the wash, imprint                            of heavy zinc diaper ointment
  scattered by a spin cycle,                             surprise spray of dots and
    splatter over my                            black pants, black shirt, black bra
         // Penumbra                                        // Grey sky, grey rain
               // I wait for an email                                 from you
     but you are dead // Refresh                           the water bowl and
the cat hops down, dips her broad paw                               into the pool
    before lowering her mouth                          // But I left my country
           a long time ago, and even there                    I was a stranger
                        // Luminescence                           of the soul
                   // When I was a child,                               the teacher
                   took me aside                                               in the hall
             told me I didn’t belong // And                               her words
         felt like some                                    glance // Into another world,
          skewed inclusion                                          fraught with promise
           // As though she perceived                                the secret sense
     // That a spirit haunts                                my left ear, plunks pebbles off
               the freaky edge of nothing,                           into my dream
                        // That I would live                        a double life,
            always outside                          // I wash a very large sheet pan
                     in a very small sink                        // Slopping soapy
                           shining oily                              swaths across
                // It’s the people who think                     they have no accent
           whose accents are most distinct                   // Would that you would
         // A rotted porch step, and                  underneath: a break // In reality
             // The world doesn’t exist to amplify                        or exemplify our own
                  preexisting tastes,                                     values, or predilections.
               It simply exists
                          // A small, smooth, and rounded stone
               // The solitary person                                                in the library
               talking to herself repeats                             this was not a good day,
                        this was not a good day
                     // And she’s right
        // But today the poem is my list                         // A thump deeply felt,
                      as though in my soul,                                    I look up 
              and ask the house,                            Yes? // Worn by the action
        of water, ice, or sand                         // A person with thin ankles stops
            at the intersection,                                      peers into their phone,
               before tentatively advancing                              in a direction
          // As though                                                     any direction will do
          // Pattern of triangles                               looping along the ceiling
                 like angle angels loping                      // Later I discover
        a box of cat food cans                             thumped on the front step
    // The children point to every character                        in the illustration,
           regardless of age, gender, or race,                            and exclaim,
             There’s Daddy! // Drops                                    of perspiration
   would slip the glass surface and                           pool down darkening wood
               // Like pebbles that,                             when you touch them,
          disperse // Griffin monster                                  in lacework sleeve
            // Red eyes represent                              urgency, prophetic vision,
       being stoned, or just exhaustion                           // The screen lights up,
brightened by a message







Note

“The world doesn’t exist to amplify or exemplify…”: Maggie Nelson, On Freedom: Four Songs of Care and Constraint. (Minneapolis: Graywolf Press, 2021).
“A small, smooth, and rounded stone”: OED, s.v. “pebble.”

Claire Marie Stancek is a writer, editor, and educator. The poems included here are taken from her forthcoming Double Life (Omnidawn, 2027), which is a book of 36 poems, each in 36 sections, written in her 36th year, an homage to Lyn Hejinian’s My Life. Claire Marie’s poetry collections include Operating Moon (Pinsapo, 2026), wyrd] bird (Omnidawn, 2020), Oil Spell (Omnidawn, 2018), and MOUTHS (Noemi, 2017). Claire Marie co-founded and co-edits Nion Editions, a chapbook press. She lives in Philadelphia. Learn more at clairemariestancek.com